Extreme Grief--Up Close and Personal

Many refugees have experienced some grief. Some have experienced extreme grief. This past Thursday, two of our Team Members spent time with one man who was in extreme grief over news he received. His mom, back in his home country, was shot dead. Here is a first-hand account of how the two Oasis Workers cared for this man: Shared by Julie Soltis:

"I experienced something tonight that will never leave my mind. And I cannot bear it but to share it… PLEASE would you pray for Ali (not his real name), a 16 year old boy from a war-torn nation, who I met tonight. At 4 :00 today he received a call from his 14 year-old sister in his country and she told him their Mother was shot today.

I met him on the front bench of the Oasis building as I saw a young man crying, and yelling. By now he had a few beers. I heard his voice calling out to no one, crying , yelling, and beating the air . He said : “they killed her, they killed my mother…why… she was my mother… they killed her” I looked into his eyes and the sorrow and grief I saw I could never explain in words.. He was angry, so upset, screaming. People going in and out of a full Oasis... just looking at him. What could they do. They all come from different countries--they did not know what was wrong, but that he was drunk.

I sat as near as I could and tried to talk… but it was better just to listen. How painful it was to hear. He was sent out of the country by his mother… she told him to go to Europe. There were 7 others in the family--One older brother dead already, another one somewhere in Holland, but 4 others at home…ages 14 to 7. Dad was maybe a soldier, he did not know. He just screamed, and wept.. his eyes were beyond red… the grief was so great.

A neighbor across the street was yelling that it was noisy, and that "the Oasis people were keeping her kids up". I tried to explain that the young man’s mother died today in Somalia… but she was not listening.

I shared with Ali that his mother was wise, she loved him and sent him out. That did not help, he wanted to die. Terry a team mate, i and I encouraged him to come in and to upstairs in the Oasis. There we prayed for him… and he screamed out for Allah… his God. We prayed for mercy of Jesus to meet him right where he was. I took a wet cold towel and wiped his face, and hugged him… and he continued to weep bitterly calling out for his Mom.. Terry and I then walked him to the camp…. He trusted us enough to go in but would not give up the 2 cans of beer to the guards. … I asked, “ please get him some help”…. they called the police, and I begged the 4 gunned police to not scare him… and then Terry and I left … as I waved good- by, he waved

I recalled, as we walked him to the camp.. the only time he was still was when I sang: “ Holy Holy Lord God Almighty, glory and grace flow from thee pour them out upon Ali..”

I am numb… but I believe in the providence of God’s gracious mercy. Perhaps I will not see him again, but he was on the bench, and God sent me and Terry there, I prayed in Jesus Name… and I believe it was all of His mercy. But would you please pray for the boy. Ali…

Because I can share the burden, I can sleep.." Julie Soltis